Not Quite Ten Things You Never Knew About Me

  1. On a field trip I left the group and stood next to Prince Charles without permission.
  2. I had a crush on him. I was eight years old. What did I know?
  3. The first time my family was invited to a British family’s home for dinner, I fed my steak and kidney pie to the large fern plant behind me.
  4. I always went with my father to pick up lunch on Saturdays. I loved fish n’ chips. Did you know you can rewrap the newspaper, and no one knows you sneaked a bite except the people waiting in line behind you?
  5. Whenever my father played golf, I went with him. He gave me a large striped umbrella and told me to jump up and down in the heather, so he could find the golf balls and me. One time another golfer paid me to find his golf ball. I didn’t jump up and down until I hid the coin in my pocket.
  6. My school bus was a fancy British touring coach with plush velvet seats. There was a military policeman on the bus, and I had a crush on him, too. Sorry, Prince Charles. I was eight years old.
  7. The bus driver listened to popular music on the radio. I sang along and waved at strangers passing by.
  8. One day I had to stay on the bus for two hours, because an undetonated World War II bomb was found near the road. I watched from the window of the bus. Shouldn’t I have been where I couldn’t see the bomb?
  9. At the time I never asked why a military policeman was on the bus. I was eight years old. Remember? Years later I asked my father. He said the military policeman was there to prevent the kids from doing anything embarrassing or upsetting. He was glad I never did. What happens in England stays in England, right?

    What are some things most people don’t know about you?

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